Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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