I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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