Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
