he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
