I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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