I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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