I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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