just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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