the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
whose parrot is this?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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