the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I want to fling myself into the sun
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize