I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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