I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
