And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
