when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize