awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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