Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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