Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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