The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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