So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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