I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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