if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
