if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
