You smell like a Billy Joel song
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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