And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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