I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
