my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
