porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
