I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
