If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
