what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
