so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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