Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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