fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
3pm strippers are depressing
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
