I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
