I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
