so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
