my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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