I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
It's Friday. Sex?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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