Screwed.edu
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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