so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
