he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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