There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
