I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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