well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
