Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
