How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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