I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
