vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
