I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
