puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize