I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We are all done wearing pants today
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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