Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
