it's like iHOP with fire
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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