2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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