I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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